


Mother Elevator

by antiagonally



Category: Persona 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiagonally/pseuds/antiagonally
Summary: Akiren Kurumiya had seen some crazy things. But that had been several years ago, and he thought that part of his life was over.Or, an authorial being is inspired by a dream to write an amusing piece of nonsense and for once not worry about logical reasoning, and the being's sister makes the assertion that the result is a crack fic. The being then proceeds to share their work so that others may be amused if they so wish.
Kudos: 2





	Mother Elevator

Akiren Kurumiya had seen some crazy things. Heck, for about a year he'd had an app on his phone that allowed him to travel to an alternate dimension where the twisted desires of humans could manifest in physical form. Along with his friends, he had accepted his inner self in order to gain magical powers, which they then used to forceably change the cognitions of certain selfish persons who were making life hell on earth for other people. Not to mention the pompous being, formed from the masses' desire to stop making decisions, which mistakenly thought itself a god with the right to control the lives of all humanity.

But that had been several years ago. Now, Akiren was a politician. Still trying to improve the world, still stealing hearts... but without the super powers. Which is why he was currently headed into work on his day off, dressed in casual clothing because he hadn't been thinking about a certain task... until he _was_ thinking about it and realized it couldn't wait. Luckily it wouldn't take long. Paperwork, deadlines, merciless superiors... even he didn't want to think too much about the details, but suffice it to say they were very mundane, if stressful.

As such, he was not expecting the elevator door to reward his patient waiting by opening to dump a very naked Goro Akechi at his feet. For one thing, the most obvious one... Well, never mind that one.

The second, more important issue was that his ex-rival was supposed to be exactly that: ex. As in, Akiren hadn't seen him since that crazy year of supernatural heart-thieving, therefore assuming that Futaba's assessment of 'no signal' from the other side of the barrier was a good indicator of the probability that the detective/assassin and his cognitive twin had killed each other.

Clearly that probability meant nothing, since there was a very naked Goro Akechi lying flat on his back as if he had been leaning against the elevator doors - and who does that? - staring up at Akiren with a nearly blank face. What emotion he could make out appeared to be surprise, which then shifted to something resembling puzzlement. Nothing like embarrassment, nothing like recognition.

A clue to the third problem, which was actually the most immediately relevant, if not instantly noticeable. But it that would make itself known in due time.

"Akechi..." Akiren was pretty sure this was the point where he was supposed to ask some sort of question, maybe even several, but his mind wasn't coming up with anything more coherent. Akechi just kept staring at him.

Akiren realized it was probably not a good idea to remain standing over a naked man in an elevator door, and floundered for what to do instead. He held out his hand to help Akechi up, but the brunette just switched his gaze to the hand in place of Akiren's face and continued staring. As if he'd never seen a hand before and had no idea what one did with it.

Akiren clumsily drew up a new plan of action and grabbed Akechi by the armpits to drag him out of the elevator and to the side of the hallway. He also shrugged off his black jacket and tied the sleeves around Akechi's waist. Not the best solution, but better than nothing, and he couldn't come up with any more effective ideas on the spot.

Especially since part of his brain was unhelpfully remarking that Akechi's face had aged slightly in the time he'd been gone and lost most of its boyish appearance. Much like Akiren, but he tended to forget that with how often he saw his own face in a mirror.

"So, you mind explaining all this?" Akiren asked, trying to keep his voice steady and unconcerned. He received no answer, only then realizing that Akechi hadn't said a word this whole time. "Akechi? ...Goro?"

No reaction. Akiren started to get a bit exasperated. Even if they were both equally confused, the least Akechi could do was say so. Even if he had no idea how he'd ended up in this situation, the confirmation of the fact would soothe Akiren immensely.

But the fact that Akiren was getting no help from Akechi reminded him that he did have other friends who would probably be more helpful. Specifically one who still kept his phone bugged and could help with the most blatant problem. It would be beyond awkward to take Akechi anywhere in this state. So he gathered up the remains of his brain and fired off a text.

 **Akiren:** hey futaba, can you break into my apartment and fetch me a set of clothes?  
**Futaba:** i'm not a dog  
**Futaba:** y u need em anyways?  
**Akiren:** it's complicated, I'll tell you when you get here  
**Futaba:** when did i say i'd do it? tell me now!

He knew she was just being curious and stubborn.

 **Akiren:** futaba, I don't even understand it myself  
**Futaba:** spill!

Akiren sighed and held his phone up so the lens would capture Akechi, sitting on the floor in all the glory of an innocent face and a borrowed jacket. Futaba would soon check her bugs, if she hadn't already, to see if anything in his vicinity explained his reluctance to talk.

His phone almost instantly notified him of another text.

 **Futaba:** akdflhvuawehiavlm  
**Akiren:** he just... fell out of the elevator  
**Akiren:** so bring clothes to my office, pls ty

Now to move the still mostly naked Goro Akechi to said office, since the longer they stayed here the more likely someone would pass by and ask questions.

At the moment, Akiren had a somewhat irrational but not baseless feeling of suspicion towards the elevator. But Akechi showed no inclination to stand up, much less climb several flights of stairs, so Akiren was left with little choice but to drag his barely decent companion back into the tiny moving room.

The elevator trip passed without incident. Not that Akiren was expecting anything in particular, but what should one expect from an elevator that had just spit out his... Well, he supposed he couldn't call Akechi an ex-rival anymore. Since he still existed, the status of their rivalship was debatable.

Once the office had been reached, a new problem presented itself. Akiren tried to dump Akechi in one of the guest chairs and complete his original objective while they waited for Futaba. But Akechi was surprisingly clingy. When Akiren took more than a few steps away, Akechi tumbled off the chair and crawled after him. While Akiren was pleased about this demonstration of mobility, he was also not pleased.

"Stay. I'm not leaving. I'm just going to do some work." He found himself speaking simply, like one would to a child. Finally, probably because Akiren kept putting him back on the chair, Akechi stayed put. This allowed Akiren to devote his still-flustered mind to the task that, while no less of a hassle, now seemed preferably tame compared to the enigma of the returned traitor who had yet to cease staring.

There hadn't been a reply from Futaba, which probably meant she was racing to fulfill his request. Curiosity could be a powerful motivator. Especially when someone was not as dead as previously presumed.

His thoughts were interrupted by anxious shifting from Akechi, but at least his work was done. "What's the matter?"

He didn't get an answer, which he was beginning to expect. At this point, someone could tell him Akechi had forgotten spoken words altogether and Akiren would believe them. His body language was still functional, however, if far more open and unguarded than ever before.

And following that observation, Akiren supposed he had better start leading the way to the restroom so they could return before Futaba showed her inquiring face in his office.

* * *

Futaba's eventual arrival was accompanied by the office door slamming open loudly. Akechi jolted, threw himself to the floor, and half-crawled, half-crashed over to Akiren, who was lying on top of his desk with his legs hanging off the end.

Akiren sighed, feeling his pants leg tighten as Akechi clenched both fists in it. "Futaba, I _just_ got him convinced to stay in the chair instead of two inches away from me. For the second time, since he had to use the restroom."

"...What is wrong with him?" She was blinking at Akechi with a look of frustrated befuddlement.

Akiren sat up so he could see for himself what he already suspected she was looking at. Sure enough, Akechi was wide-eyed and trembling, almost hugging Akiren's leg with how closely he was pressed against it. His whole posture reminded Akiren of a scared kid trying to hide behind a grown-up. While he was flattered at the implication of Akechi trusting him so much, there was something... just wrong about how endearingly childlike he looked.

"Clothes, please," Akiren said, extending his hand toward Futaba.

She stepped forward, drawing a pitiful whimper out of Akechi. She eyed him strangely, but made her delivery and then stepped back to a less threatening distance.

Akiren eased himself off the desk, slightly hindered by Akechi's grip, and onto the floor. He unfolded a loose shirt and sweatpants.

"I brought your sleepwear 'cause I didn't know if he was still around the same size as you or if he might've grown more in the last few years..." By which she meant she'd noticed that Akechi didn't look exactly like he had when he'd disappeared, but she was unable to get an idea of scale without Akiren next to him in the image.

"Excellent thinking," Akiren praised her while tugging the shirt down over Akechi's head. He was tempted to pretend he didn't see Futaba giving him her 'talk now or else!' face, but there wasn't really a reason to hold out anymore. "I'm beginning to suspect that even though he's been changing physically at the normal rate, his mental state has regressed majorly. He hasn't spoken since I found him, and he doesn't react to anything I say other than the noise of it. I haven't seen him stand or walk either, he only crawls."

Akiren coaxed Akechi's fingers to relax and let go of him so he could get the shirt properly settled. Futaba hadn't brought any underwear, and Akiren didn't blame her. They could deal with that later. For now, he just stuffed Akechi's feet into the pants and then cautiously inched the waistband up around his hips without disturbing the jacket still tied there.

"You look really weird," Futaba commented. "Like you're dressing a huge doll. Or a giant baby."

Akiren shrugged in resignation. "At least he's not completely helpless. I wasn't planning on learning parent skills this soon, but better having to change clothes than diapers. Thankfully, he's more of a toddler than a newborn."

"Yeah, that would NOT be fun to deal with." Futaba shuddered at the mental image. Then she started to smirk. "If you're the dad, who'd be the mom?"

"I'm not the dad," Akiren protested firmly. "Big brother, if I have to be something..."

Futaba giggled. "Just play along, 'kay? Please?"

Akiren delayed by preparing to give Akechi a piggy-back ride. Once he figured out what was going on, the brunette was quite cooperative. With a chin resting on his shoulder and soft hair tickling his neck, Akiren huffed his reply at last. "...The elevator."

"Huh? What?"

"If he must have a mom, I nominate the elevator. And can we take the stairs down? I'm not really interested in visiting her again today."

* * *

Akechi's unusual reappearance caused an overwhelming amount of problems, but with his friends' help Akiren tackled them one by one. Sojiro offered the old attic as a place to stay, and Morgana volunteered to supervise Akechi's residence there... as soon as his charge was capable of walking on his own. Which would be very soon, judging by his learning speed.  
A second full-length childhood was not something anybody wished on him, so they were all relieved when it only took a couple days for him to start staggering around on his feet, bracing himself on walls and furniture, and calling for Akiren ('Kiren). Everyone started calling him Goro at some point, whether he liked them enough to answer or not.

Ann seemed to be his favorite, right after Akiren. Sojiro (Soji-san) spoiled him with coffee and curry and who knew what all else, because any questions on the matter were met with a secretive smirk or, in Goro's case, a too-cute-to-be-legal-at-his-age giggle. Futaba (Fufu) took some getting used to, but Goro forgave her completely for the bad first impression after a while.

Haru was unwaveringly sweet, but for some reason Goro never stopped looking uneasy around her. Makoto (Mato) was bossy and frequently received a stuck-out tongue from Goro. Morgana (Mona), though bossy, was just a cat and therefore could be ignored or picked on. Yusuke was accepted, if not paid much attention to.

Goro wouldn't say Ryuji's name at all, only scowling at him most of the time. Any real interaction tended to end quickly as Goro took the first opportunity to mutter 'baka' and run away. But since Ryuji was normally scowling back and in general returning the favor, no one bothered to scold Goro for being rude.

By the end of the month Goro seemed mentally equal with a twelve-year-old, and his second puberty hit in the form of nightmares about the past. Morgana felt that he alone wasn't enough support, and the whole group set up a week-long Phantom Thieves sleepover to comfort Goro as he slowly regained his memories... and all the guilt that came with them.

Eventually, even if he wanted to pretend he didn't - it was mortifying for a grown man to act that much like a kid - he remembered everything. Other than the section between his apparent death on the ship and his surprise arrival in the elevator, which never did get explained to anyone's satisfaction, least of all Goro himself.

But what _was_ satisfying, for all of them, was that Goro was truly one of them now. He called them friends, had deep bonds with some of them... Even the thieves that he still didn't like much, he could get along with decently. While he was still himself, in a way he had been reborn when he fell out of the elevator at Akiren's feet.

Akiren could never look at that elevator the same way again, especially since his friends insisted on jokingly calling it Mother Elevator anytime the subject was brought up. Even Goro, though his tone was less joking and more fond when he said it, which was usually only after he had recovered from a flood of embarrassment.

All of which was a lot to recall every time Akiren went to work and either had to use the elevator or walk past it to the stairs. He couldn't wait to get elected to some other political job so he could move into a different building... Of course he had other, more important, less selfish reasons for wanting that. Lots of them. This reason was just the one that came to mind most often... and who could blame him for it?


End file.
